Yew Ess Eyyy

How fuckin goods the U.S of fuckin A...!!

This photo above is of my mate Mikey B, he's a funny fucker we were dribblin shit to each other tonight on skype after i had been down stairs nailin a few coors lights watchin the yankee's kick the Angles arse in the play offs tonight in the world series. I wandered across the street with a mate beau who works at quik here in the states and walked into the bottle shop to purchase a coupla night cappers and the guy behind the counter was fuckin classic. I bought the beer above sittin on my laptop "Steel reserve" it's 8.1% alcohol and the indian dude says to me in his indian accent after i askedhim what it was like "fooork man this shit is usually drunk by the foockin looocal drunks ya knooow, they smoke crack then haaave no moneeey so they drink this shit but there's fruit punch in the fridge that is 12.1& called loco".... fuckin Loco alright.. MAN... holy shit... hahahaha So i bought this good old awesome drop back to my room and necked it... yep tasted like filthy old horse arse but fuckin $3.81 for a 40 ounce beer that made me all of a sudden feel drunk as fuck... Not bad.. No wonder why you see so many fuckin twisted units in this joint.. crack for $20, 40's for $3.81.. fuckin hell it's cheap as shit to have ya self one hell of a fuckin problem..hahaha..

Jesus yesterday i went and shot a 44 magnum and glock at a firing range for $35 for about 100 bullets.. and the fucked thing was this kid was about 10 years old with his dad and the little bastard was firing a rifle.. that little fucks gonna grow up and blow some poor pricks scone off when he hits eighteen cause they pushed in the line at Mc Donalds.. FUCK ME.... hahahaha.

But AMerica is fuckin good.. Today i drove my mercedes rental "only cause i showed the old chick at hertz my sack she upgraded me" into longbeach to shoot some pics on sunset , i ended up in some shit shipping yard , i thought some crack head or snoop dogg was gonna robb me so i split outta the joint and got the fuck back on the freeway another hour and 45 minutes back to huntington but in the process stopped off at this mental little mexi joint.. sat next to this red neck lookin chick with a semi mullet, trackie dacks on and them pulled up above her belly button, i sat there with my chips, salsa, beer and dinner for $13 and let her tell me how good her tit job was for her confidence and how her husband had a small prong... Faaaarrrrk.... who fuckin cares.. I love this joint.. i think I'm movin here..

YOOOOOOW....

welcome to LAX

my eyes feel like they have had metho poured in them after the 12 hour mission to LA.

Being the dip shit that i am i stayed out nearly all night in surfers on saturday for ash harro's bucks night with the boys and stumbled in home at 5am then outta bed at 7am and got drivin up to brissy airport for my 11am flight to LA.

Stinky, dazed and confused , the kid next to me would look over occasionally and i could tell in his eyes he wanted to say "you fuckin stink man". Only managed 4 hours sleep on the flight, watched a coupla shitty movies and iciked back with my $18 spongy neck pillow and some "D" grade mags to keep me entertained.. Sleepers couldn't even kick me in the arse..

So here i sit in huntingbeach in the shorebreak hotel on the pac coast hwy room 350, black sabbath on the pod playin in the background, wonderin if i should crack this bottle of "rosenblum" red sittin in front of me . WELCOME TO L.A baby....

"i took the pic above about 4pm thisarvo of a caddy just round the corner from my hotel.. beaten up old bit of gold.."

How fuckin goods ridin free.....

I've been a bit of a travellin wilbury lately, LA, Mexico, LA, home, Melbourne, Goldy, Bali, Darwin now home all in the space of about 5 weeks and now kickin it on the goldy for about 6 days before i pack up my rugged old travel bag then fuck off to LA again...then to portugal. good old U.S of A the place i love the most fast fuckin wild times . And i fuckin love it... planes trains and automobiles.. BRING THAT SHIT ON....!!!

I like shit plane food, the AC burning my pupils on late night flight "i carry clear eye's", squashed seats "use a neck pillow..gold", delays "dodgy bali movies on ya laptop..saviour", free booze on international flights, chatting to randoms on planes and tellling them you're someone you're not.. hahahaa..fun as fuck....right..?

It kinda shits me sometimes when i ask people "whats happenin man" and the shitty response i get is "ohhhh just fuckin flyin around , i hate travellin"...

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS.. mate getting out there seein all kinds of shit around the world and getting amongst it. Wether it be darwin, tamworth new york or fuckin Mirrocco...FUCK ME...you could be diggin holes, workin the check outs in coles running peoples groceries through the check out, cleaning shitty toilets for the council at 4am.. fuckin lifes good man and I'm enjoying every fuckin second... YEP LETS GO..!!!

. I just hit 30 whilst in bali, got blind with good friends surfed a little 2 foot right hander with 1 other guy out, necked a bunch of long island ice teas at ku de ta, smoked cigars at Hu'u bar and soaked that shit up like no fuckin tomorrow. HOW FUCKIN GOOD IS THIS....!!!!!

So i guess my point is.. I aint wastin my fuckin shitty existance here wingein.. My jobs takin me fuckin off aroudn the world with good people and i'm fuckin lovin it.. so if ya see me somewhere , lets have a cold beer and celebrate..its mandatory..!!!

Travellins easy.. look at the pic below.. they're happy as a pig in shit.. !!!

RIDE ON..!!!

IF YOU EVER SEE ME SHOOTIN PICS LIKE THIS FREAK BELOW..

KICK ME IN THE NUTS.!!

I Have No Memory

Sunday night Was a wild one..!!

AFter flyin back in from LA saturday then getting fuckin necked at the footy then birthday bash sunday lunch for our friend, i then had my filthy old rubber arm twisted and directed in the direction of Cooly once it went dark.. To see the old Father fucker PEACHES.. Neverland the destination of this obscure night.

We jumped in the maxi taxi and all i really remember is arriving at neverland and bits and peices of the night. Not too much... I was fuckin drunk as FUCK.

I always seam to have the canon G9 handy in the back pocket for any wild shit that goes down, party pics, funny shit.. whatever.. and i thought nothin of the other night at all. I know benny and pablo loaded my gullet with shots, jack and dry's and anything that would be thrown my way. Peaches came on with her headphones on Dj-in the fuck outta the place and all i remember is ejecting.. givin the old call home "come get me i'm fuckin wasted" around midnight sunday night.

I must a wandered down the street maybe dug into the filthy old chicken hero or some repulsive late night 7-11 drunken chow cause that's where my chick got me from.

On my way home from work last night i turned my camera on in the car and looked at the last photo taken and this is it below..

I NEARLY pissed my pants with laughter..

WHAT THE FUCK.....

I don't remember taking any pics on the night apart from on our way there and i get blessed with this fuckin absolute cracker, old titties out, fang missing.. bottle of booze in hand....

WOW WHAT A FUCKIN NIGHT....!!!

PRAY FOR ME

I had to add this in.... I found this in an alley way in south america last week.

KIllin me SLowly

i kinda wonder if i am rotten myself away slowly, i just flew in from LA yesterday dropped some fuckin amazing sleepin pills as soon as i boarded that thing and knocked myself the fuck out for 11 hours after a hectic coupla weeks in the U.S of A. the place is a fuckin vicious but somewhat pleasurable beast that can satisfy your every need. Fast cars, cheap piss and wild old times. It can take a good man down at the drop of a hat. You can be a succesful machine who is quickly crippled buy the cheapness of cocaine and instantly on the end of a crack pipe as described to me by the lady who chewed my ear off any second i opened my eyes sitting next to me on my 14 hour flight , which just encouraged me to down sleepers like i was tryin to do a number on myself to be knocked the fuck out. I felt like she was standing over me awaiting my drousy eyes to open so she could show me rank photos of her cat and shit on her iphone and chew my ear about the most anoying shit. It was fuckin creepy.. Self medication is sometimes needed . After i landed in Sydney feelin a million dollars after the longest sleep i had aquired in 2 weeks olny to be told by the fat bitch at virgin that they had forgotten to put my board bag on the flight in LA only to thismorning get a text from one of the bag boys at cooly airport that my board bag had managed totake itself through customs and check itself on a flight to cooly..!!! what the fuck..!!

After the 23 hour mission to get home, Straight off the plane home bound and out to the footy with the mrs with my great little Chives regal $6 duty free hip flask in my pocket tenz and i continue to drink piss together and yell abuse at the footy like a couple of trash bags from ipswich, ended up in some pub out the back of robina drinkin double jacks and scotchs together listenin to drunken freaks try to sing jimmy barnes covers and even purchased one of those "charity" celefane warpped five dollar pink roses.. Whata fuckin romantic drunken pair of trash bags.... And Holy fuck we're good at it..

Jet Lag..?...Nope.. No such thing.. today birthday party at 1pm , tonight PEaches at neverland.. The party never ends....If i am rotting away atleast I'm doinn it well.. maybe this pic above i took in hollywood 48 hours ago is how i'll look in 10 years.. but i'll have a fuckin shit load of stories to tell.. So grab a beer and pull up a seat.. i'll fill you in...!!!

Cold beers In newport baby...!!!!

WHy the fuck not...

Everyone is first to point the finger at L.A or america in general cause of it's over crowding and fuckin wild freeways, millions of people, border jumpers and cocaine runners . I love the joint, it's fuckin fast, wild and big.. everythings at your finger tips, waves might be shit and there are fuckwits just like anywhere but fuck that's life it keeps shit interesting..

Its fuckin that fun, yeh ya gotta tip but you don't even need to do shit you've constantly got some bitch with big old fake tits bendin over you toppin up your ice water while she's handin you ya breaky eggs on toast "sunny side up" asking how ya day is , unlike OZ where if you ask the bitch for "some tomato sauce" you'd swear you just asked her if she would like to tickle your balls.

Ya pay for what ya get and fuck me AMERICA is good.. Right now it's the same price to come to L.A and stay in a bangin hotel or fang to vegas , NY or where ever as it is to fuck off to bali and stay in a villa in seminyak and be annoyed by Ketut. Come check this fuckin place out, huge fake tits lambo's bentleys, cheap booze and if you're a single guy all ya gotta do is drop a "g'day mate" and tell them steve irwins ya cousin and next minute you've got some cougar ridin ya like a buckin bull from texas.. God bless america, i don't give a fuck if obama is president or Bush just keep the Booze and shit cheap and all is good baby.... WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD BITCHES....