I Have No Memory

Sunday night Was a wild one..!!
AFter flyin back in from LA saturday then getting fuckin necked at the footy then birthday bash sunday lunch for our friend, i then had my filthy old rubber arm twisted and directed in the direction of Cooly once it went dark.. To see the old Father fucker PEACHES.. Neverland the destination of this obscure night.
We jumped in the maxi taxi and all i really remember is arriving at neverland and bits and peices of the night. Not too much... I was fuckin drunk as FUCK.
I always seam to have the canon G9 handy in the back pocket for any wild shit that goes down, party pics, funny shit.. whatever.. and i thought nothin of the other night at all. I know benny and pablo loaded my gullet with shots, jack and dry's and anything that would be thrown my way. Peaches came on with her headphones on Dj-in the fuck outta the place and all i remember is ejecting.. givin the old call home "come get me i'm fuckin wasted" around midnight sunday night.
I must a wandered down the street maybe dug into the filthy old chicken hero or some repulsive late night 7-11 drunken chow cause that's where my chick got me from.
On my way home from work last night i turned my camera on in the car and looked at the last photo taken and this is it below..
I NEARLY pissed my pants with laughter..

I don't remember taking any pics on the night apart from on our way there and i get blessed with this fuckin absolute cracker, old titties out, fang missing.. bottle of booze in hand....




I had to add this in.... I found this in an alley way in south america last week.

KIllin me SLowly

i kinda wonder if i am rotten myself away slowly, i just flew in from LA yesterday dropped some fuckin amazing sleepin pills as soon as i boarded that thing and knocked myself the fuck out for 11 hours after a hectic coupla weeks in the U.S of A. the place is a fuckin vicious but somewhat pleasurable beast that can satisfy your every need. Fast cars, cheap piss and wild old times. It can take a good man down at the drop of a hat. You can be a succesful machine who is quickly crippled buy the cheapness of cocaine and instantly on the end of a crack pipe as described to me by the lady who chewed my ear off any second i opened my eyes sitting next to me on my 14 hour flight , which just encouraged me to down sleepers like i was tryin to do a number on myself to be knocked the fuck out. I felt like she was standing over me awaiting my drousy eyes to open so she could show me rank photos of her cat and shit on her iphone and chew my ear about the most anoying shit. It was fuckin creepy.. Self medication is sometimes needed . After i landed in Sydney feelin a million dollars after the longest sleep i had aquired in 2 weeks olny to be told by the fat bitch at virgin that they had forgotten to put my board bag on the flight in LA only to thismorning get a text from one of the bag boys at cooly airport that my board bag had managed totake itself through customs and check itself on a flight to cooly..!!! what the fuck..!!
After the 23 hour mission to get home, Straight off the plane home bound and out to the footy with the mrs with my great little Chives regal $6 duty free hip flask in my pocket tenz and i continue to drink piss together and yell abuse at the footy like a couple of trash bags from ipswich, ended up in some pub out the back of robina drinkin double jacks and scotchs together listenin to drunken freaks try to sing jimmy barnes covers and even purchased one of those "charity" celefane warpped five dollar pink roses.. Whata fuckin romantic drunken pair of trash bags.... And Holy fuck we're good at it..
Jet Lag..?...Nope.. No such thing.. today birthday party at 1pm , tonight PEaches at neverland.. The party never ends....If i am rotting away atleast I'm doinn it well.. maybe this pic above i took in hollywood 48 hours ago is how i'll look in 10 years.. but i'll have a fuckin shit load of stories to tell.. So grab a beer and pull up a seat.. i'll fill you in...!!!


Cold beers In newport baby...!!!!

WHy the fuck not...
Everyone is first to point the finger at L.A or america in general cause of it's over crowding and fuckin wild freeways, millions of people, border jumpers and cocaine runners . I love the joint, it's fuckin fast, wild and big.. everythings at your finger tips, waves might be shit and there are fuckwits just like anywhere but fuck that's life it keeps shit interesting..
Its fuckin that fun, yeh ya gotta tip but you don't even need to do shit you've constantly got some bitch with big old fake tits bendin over you toppin up your ice water while she's handin you ya breaky eggs on toast "sunny side up" asking how ya day is , unlike OZ where if you ask the bitch for "some tomato sauce" you'd swear you just asked her if she would like to tickle your balls.
Ya pay for what ya get and fuck me AMERICA is good.. Right now it's the same price to come to L.A and stay in a bangin hotel or fang to vegas , NY or where ever as it is to fuck off to bali and stay in a villa in seminyak and be annoyed by Ketut. Come check this fuckin place out, huge fake tits lambo's bentleys, cheap booze and if you're a single guy all ya gotta do is drop a "g'day mate" and tell them steve irwins ya cousin and next minute you've got some cougar ridin ya like a buckin bull from texas.. God bless america, i don't give a fuck if obama is president or Bush just keep the Booze and shit cheap and all is good baby.... WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD BITCHES....


Stinky, sweaty, smelly hollywood..nothin better.
fast times in Hollyweird...

r.i.p DJAM



dirty fuckin L.A
Hell aint a bad place to be..