why the fuck were we in Portugal..?

I'm still not too sure why the fuck i went to portugal..?
I guess i kinda had too for some work shit but it was fuckin weird. I flew in from new york to lisbon, met this pommy family who let me follow them through these weird streets exactly to the house where i was gonna be posted for my whole 72 fuckin hours in this portugese speakin joint. You know when you've travelled over 10 hours on a plane or 20 for that matter, i don;t give a fuck if you're paris hilton, miranda kerr or the fuckin queen... you start to smell like shit.
So when i arrived strider and jimmy were ready to hit the contest to go down for danes heat.. so i pulled up.. left my shit in my car and went to the contest.... Smellin like one of those fuckin stinky fucks that hang in the BBq area near dbah that push their clothes around in old trollys... Like someone had held me down, pissed on me then rubbed a piss troff lolly all over my face.
SO hear we are..... anyway.. No worries watch danes heat he wins all good... now cool lets fuck off home so i can wash my sweaty nuts.. PLEASE.... worst thing is, I feel like shit and am walking up this fuckin shit dusty track in 25 + degree heat in jeans and my phone starts beeping with shit messages like "oh saw you on the webcast with dane you look like shit".. next one... "are you hung over, saw you on the web"...FUCK OFF.... i just had flown 20 fuckin somethin hours in the same shit and got dragged to the beach to a fuckin surf contest without having a shower.. No sleep and FUCKin now text messages... hahahaa.. Portugal.... ahh fuckin portugal.. reckon I'm goin back anytime soon....mmm...FUCkin hope not.. only if i'm with the boys again.. funny fucks....
Oh yeh ya shoulda seen my effort to shake a bottle of $200 champagne in a 5 star hotel restaurant then to stop it spraying everywhere i stuck my mouth over it, then offer everyone a glass...?... Yep I'm a fuckin dick head... haha.. till next time ey... now I'm in L.A headin to the desert in the morning.. who fuckin knows whats around the corner....hahaha

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